Lets start anew..

man! how the time flies when you get older! 2010 went by SO fast i feel like. And like every year it had its ups and downs. I graduated in May and got a government job by December, NOT bad for a years work. im glad i met my short term goals! Have lots to look forward to in 2011.
So i just started my new job for this New Year and its really great! Co-workers are great, the job can be difficult, but im sure ill get the hang of it in no time. I really like Prescott, its small and quiet, both of which, i enjoy in my life. I have no idea how ill make more friends (my age) here but it will all come with time! I know it will be lonely at first, but fortunately, i have been blessed with wonderful family and friends that have not left my side through this new transition. I've been seeing familiar faces/will be seeing familiar faces for the first whole month i am here! --- No furniture yet in my apartment, but it is coming soon(with a paycheck of course!) Im super excited for that!
Other than that! All is well :)

Im a big kid now..... eeee!!

Sooooo....this past week has been nothing but exciting news!! i got a call from the VA (Veterans Affairs Dept.) the position is Medical Supply tech. so i would be decontaminating and sterilizing medical instruments(who better to do that than a microbiologist? right!?) i think i can learn a ton from this and will be working at the VA Hospital in AZ!!
i got an interview for the middle of the week! so...i took a little trip down to AZ with my cousin, looked around the city, had to check out the mall of course(its sooo cute!)! ahaah! and then i had my interview the following morning! after a long interview and walkthrough everything, then a small trip to HR for some papers, and then i was offered the job!!and i accepted!!!! hahah!
so all and all, i'm happy,excited,scared, anxious. I NEVER thought this is where an opportunity would rise for me....ive been waiting for SOMETHING to happen, and i think this will be REALLY good for me til i go to med school!!! YAY for being a big kid with a job!! I know i will grow from this experience and just learn a lot, and hopefully make me a better doctor one day!! i feel like everything is finally falling into place! Hope this lasts!! :)

Lately..

I have an urge to go to Washington, DC.... to visit or live there, i don't know which.. i am not a very politically opinionated person.. hence why i never pictured myself ever going there... but lately i think I'd like it!.... this could be possibly due to the fact that I've found a couple of potential jobs there (keeps fingers crossed) although, to be honest..its a stretch..but one can hope! The other reason could be due to the fact that I have done nothing in the past week except catch myself up with a show called "Bones" which takes place in Washington DC and involves a HOT FBI agent and his scientific, socially inept partner. Its funny and smart and i can relate to the characters! In other news, I'm starting Kaplan again! yay!!!! this time I'm getting in there and pretty much catching all the little things that i missed last time! we'll see what happens....
It is getting cooler here in Vegas, thank goodness!! its been lovely to have some cool air to breathe when i walk outside. I miss flagstaff very much and all the people that were there with me!! Still can't process the fact that school is in session right now and I'm not in it! But i have a gut feeling something is around the corner about to happen...(job,school..i don't know) i just hope its good!! :)

Mechanism of Action

I absolutely just LOVE it when you happen to stumble across a song/lyrics that you instantly connect to.. and get that feeling of " wow!,..thats EXACTLY how i feel right now!" Sometimes our hearts and minds feel emotions or senses we ourselves cannot describe. Music for me, is SO powerful in expressing such feelings...may it be love, contentment,anger..etc. I never really understood why some couples have " a song"...but lately i've been thinking...maybe its because they truly feel soooo strongly for one another thats indescribable .. and that maybe that song is the only way to remotely put it. For me, whenever i'm angry/sad/excited/anxious (any emotion in the book) i've turned to music.. and when i stumble on that ONE song that i happen to connect to at the moment, i instantly love it..and will listen to it over and over and over again.
Music is my coping mechanism along with cleaning obsessively, just as others perhaps exercise or cry...or hit a pillow.. i think its sooo important to find SOMETHING to do while being in a state of emotional discomfort. however, i do wonder about those who make an UNhealthy coping mechanism choice...and make their emotional discomfort even more uncomfortable. Can a coping mechanism become a bad habit!?
In other news, i miss being in school, yes i said it. I just like to learn! As much as i dreaded dragging my butt out of my warm bed in the mornings, i find myself lacking regular intellectual conversation/wonderings in every day to day life...job searching and what not....wonder if there is a song about that!?... :)

life is unpredictable.. or is it?

Lately I've had some time to think about things.. and i wonder :
Does life ever actually go the way you plan?
Do the wishes that you make on shooting stars, Birthday candles, and penny fountains ever come true?? How long should we keep wishing? or do we eventually STOP wishing? Do people remember every single wish they have ever made?? When we say to ourselves, " whatever is meant to be will happen!"... does it?
While some may try to aim for the stable, predictable life, others live day to day never knowing what the day will bring!
i aim to have the best of both worlds, i like routine, I'm not the biggest fan of change, however, that predictability, although nice... can be a bit boring. ultimately, that's why people take vacations i suppose...to change scenery, plans, life, at least for a little while. But sometimes i feel envious of ones who do not want plan ANYTHING and just see what happens and take life as it comes. I admire that and would like to acquire some of that philosophy.

so much for plans..

Well being that it is two weeks from my anticipated MCAT test day. I'm feeling high level of anxiety and feel like I'm DEFINITELY not ready..
As much as i hate to drag out this process longer, i think it would be better for me to keep practicing and working on my test taking skill which are clearly not good, and i need to be able to do this well, because it will benefit me in medical school. Lots of people in my life have suggested taking it later rather than sooner, i just didn't listen because i wanted to get it over with. After all, i have NOTHING but time left to be able to do that right!? that was the nice thing about this 2 year hiatus. i realized i don't want to fail at this again, if i can prevent it from happening in the first place... so... i may repeat the Kaplan course for good measure, but most of all keep working on my verbal reasoning and critical thinking and most importantly TIMING. The course really really did help me though!!
So until then i will definitely start volunteering at the hospital here, since ill be here for a little while. Hopefully get a part time job or something to keep me occupied at least. and the NEW test day will be January 28th or so... and hopefully i will be more confident going into this for the second time!!

Just keep swimming...

So nothing is really new and exciting in my life...( I have a feeling it will be like this for a VERY long time)..
Kaplan MCAT prep is still underway..and as previously mentioned.... slow and steady is the best way to describe it, I just hope that these scores that I am racking up are somewhat a REAL representation of what I should expect on the real thing... of course nothing is certain...but I'm slowly reaching my goal..and if I do, then there is no reason as to why it could not happen on Test Day right!?? speaking of which...I think that day may be Sept 11th, I have yet to register( i just want to make sure I'm ready) but if I keep going on on this incline...I should be!(cross your fingers!!) I'm slowly regaining confidence, which has been lacking for sometime now. I get the feeling that celebration will be BIG when I pass this test, bigger than if I were to actually get INTO a medical school!! haha!
I must admit though, its been a slow summer for me( I know, when was the last time you heard someone actually say that!?) For me though I'm going on 2 years worth of no summer really....junior year, then summer classes along with MCAT/Applications round 1, then senior year, and now MCAT round 2! I think NEXT summer needs to be EPIC!!! Hopefully by that point I will have a job and a savings again, so that I can travel a bit!!( even if its traveling as far as California, I would be okay with that!)
In the meantime, life is going, friends and family (near and far) are well, so there isn't much more a girl can ask for, right!? So, just gotta keep swimming... :-)

Summer Nights

~So my new favorite shows for this summer are The Middle, and Modern Family on abc. They are hilarious!!! perfect family shows and great laughs for summer Wednesday nights. I've been purposefully taking a couple of hours away from studying and watching them.
~Went to see Inception with some of my favorite people, and it was an awesome movie!!! the theatre was filled with guys, i felt like one of six girls there, but i LOVE action movies!!
~My bff is officially on her way down to Vegas!! its has been like 4 years or so since we have been within 25 miles of one another!!
~I really wanna go to CA sometime soon, to live there would be nice, but just get some beach air would be nice too!
~I'm officially typing this post from my new Mac!!!!! of course, getting this new toy means i cant spend a dime on myself for the next 6 months or so...but i figure hey, what more could i possibly need!! and this is an investment worth making!! I'm super happy i have one now! almost all my friends have sworn by it! I'm happy to have access to my itunes again, since my laptop crashed i haven't really updated it.
~Kaplan course is still going.... i guess the best description is...slow and steady.. I really hope I can be ready to take it in Sept! i feel like i need to be putting even more time than i actually have toward studying!!! the class is incredibly fast and i just cant seem to ever catch up.. I'm still balancing..
~I'm surprisingly doing well for NOT having ANY plans what-so-ever for the next two years of my life. I freak out and panic every once in a while, but i realize that i need to be wait, and see what is in store for me! :)

No more planning.

well so much for my planning little stuff at a time! It seems like just when I start to get an idea of what I'm gonna be doing, something throws it off the tracks.
MCAT course is still underway,but I came across the fact that I need to be a Certified Lab Tech before starting a job. So I thought, " okay, shouldn't take too long to get that done!" I researched exactly what exams I needed to take and what I needed to do. So I went ahead and searched for a program to go through here, and found one at UNLV. Awesome. well, UNLVs program takes 2-3 semesters!!! this was really hard for me to swallow. First of all, I don't want to be getting this certification and only be able to use it for several months just before leaving for med school(assuming this goes to plan as well)!! it seems like a waste of time for me..and not to mention money most likely and if anything I need to be making money during this time. Then I just hit a wall! realizing that this means I wont be able to move away as soon as I had hoped and maybe not getting residency in ANY other state besides NV, and this made me really sad!! I wanted to do sooo much with this time that I have, but this bump...well more like mountain in my way is making it that much more difficult. I have NO idea what will happen after the MCAT is done. I'm just hoping for the best, and trying NOT to think about it too much, which for me, this is difficult. I try to keep in mind that everything happens for a reason!! :) I just wish I knew what that reason is already! Ha!

Life in Vegas

Well.
Ive been back for about just about a month now. Saw lot of old friends and got to catch up which is always wonderful. It so interesting how people can change, not dramatically different or anything..but seeing them become their own person, ya know? i sometimes wonder if that is something noticeable about me as well to them. Ive never been a fan of change, but I've realized that we are always changing and growing as people! hopefully for the better.
This Vegas is heat is absolutely terrible(I'm usually a happy person, but this heat is getting me down). Spending two years in Flag really got me to forget how hot it gets here. usually about 110 degrees in the past couple weeks..and when i get in my car anytime of the day its at least 120, and i just want to cry!!! I pray that this is the LAST summer i spend here, i just don't know if i have it in me to stay for one more.
I start my Kaplan prep course soon! yay. I get a good feeling about it...its just that I'm not looking forward to the long drive to the university, and the ever so long practice exams. but i need to work on my endurance for this thing..and hopefully be passing it with flying colors in September!!
Ive been working on my Resume and cover letter for potential jobs, but the Vegas job market isn't exactly on a good note right now. So I'm keeping my eye on a few other ideal jobs. I also found that i need to get certified because getting a job without one will be that much more difficult. so hopefully i can get that out of the way soon after the MCAT. Being a college grad is rough, i just want go to med school already! But i am looking forward to all the experiences that i will get under my belt until then, and hopefully a move out of here will be in my cards, I'm kinda determined.

well, what now!???

Graduation day was hectic,long, and really great!!! Im so blessed to have so many people care about me, to go out of there way and come up to flagstaff to watch me graduate!!! ALL the people that i loved were there!! A big group there physically, cheering me on, and some were more in spirit, from the midwest states, Egypt, to New Zealand. I feel so.....blessed. thats the best word to describe it. For most of the day i was just going through the motions, ya know!? Ive graduated before, so this wasnt any different! But i guess it all JUST hit me right now at 1 in the morning on my last night/day in flagstaff.
I remember coming up here for the first time, and at night, a group of people i was with were walking outside, and my cousin said " okay, dont look up until i tell you to." so i dont. and we walk a little further where there weren't as many bright orange lights. then my cousin says " okay look up!!" so i look straight up, and i see the blackest sky ive ever seen along with the brightest stars. I felt sooooo close to the sky that i could reach a little bit and grab a star! it was breathtaking it ALMOST brought me to tears!! Tonight, as i packed the last of my bags and loaded them in my car at midnight, i looked up and saw the same beautiful night sky, and i was brought to tears :'(
I stayed out there for a little while and all the memories made over the past 4 years were flooding my head, especially the last 2 years, and how great they were, and how much ive seen and heard, and felt. And i dont think college would have affected me in the same way, if i was not in Flagstaff. I love....Loved it here. This place will always have a special place in my heart:)

Done and Done!

Well,I am officially done with my Undergraduate work!! woooo. graduation is in 6days! A lot of people are coming from Vegas, I'm excited to see everyone! There isn't a whole lot going on, considering I've had one of the easiest.... no, THE easiest Reading week and Finals week ever! i didn't even see it coming!! It was a nice surprise! so I've been trying to enjoy this short time in Flag that's left. Although, it has snowed a couple times this week, which bothers me, cuz i know how beautiful it can be here, and its not been the nicest of weather! Other than that, eating lots of ice cream, having a glass of wine here and there! Its been really wonderful!! I couldn't have asked for a better ending to my 4 years here. I will miss Flagstaff very much, i made lifelong friends here, and grew SOOOO much as a person( especially this past year and a half)
So whats the plan for this soon-to-be college graduate!?? well that's the thing( and part of how I've been growing as a person) I don't have an EXACT plan like I've always had!! as scary as that is to admit to myself, I've accepted that i can't plan 5,10 years from now, because I'm not there yet! So my new outlook, has become, short(er) term planning. So this summer i will re-focus on the MCAT, and after that,who knows!!! I know i want to keep volunteering and job shadowing, and i want to also volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. and i have a goal of working in a hospital. As far as whether this will all take place back home, or SOMEWHERE ELSE!??? that i don't know either!! But I'm excited to find out ;)

Just sittin, waiting, wishing...

BOY has it been a crazy crazy couple of weeks/months!! i haven't been able to actually sit down and write anything on here in some time. But it has just been absolute madness around here. where to begin...
well spring break was not really a break for me at all..
1)I had lost my ID earlier this year and FINALLY got a duplicate from the Nevada DMV only to get one WITHOUT a photo. so i had decided that this would be my first task once i was home. WELL, i went and spend a lovely 5 hours there only to learn that Nevada no longer GIVES you your new IDs, they send them to you in the mail. and since i had my duplicate sent to AZ, that is where they will send it..and i will have to provide proof of residency again in NV once i move back in MAY!....ugh..talk about frustrating!! i mean...what a waste of time, money, paper... SO inconvenient!
2)My brother is now going to an American school abroad..and i decided to help my mom out with getting all the paperwork/transcripts in order... and let me tell you...it was not a pleasant experience. i woke up everyday during my break at 8 am to go deal with either the middle or high school then off to the secretary of state office across town which i went to about 3 times in two days... i was about to hurt someone by the time it was over.
3)My lovely laptop of only 4 years decided that it was time to say goodbye the Friday before i started school again!!!!! so not only have i lost all work done in the past 4 years but as well as all my pictures...but thank goodness for facebook, because majority of them are on there anyway! So luckily for me, my cousin had her old laptop... and let me borrow it until may since i will be done with school then!
as far as getting a new laptop..Ive decided to save up and get a MAC which will be nice, once i start med school.
4)As soon as i came back up the mountain for school i got sick... and i mean SICK! at first i thought it was a cold like usual that would go away in a couple days...but it turned out to be the flu! so i suffered for a good week..and when i was starting to feel better..i had put in my contacts to look normal and not dying...only to get pink eye in both eyes! so after a couple rounds of fever and some great ab-workout kinda coughing....I'm better now (10-13 days later)only to be behind SOOOO much in school even though i only missed ONE class through all of that.
OH and i lost my phone for about 24 hours...but after extensively searching for it..and the kindness of a stranger who turned it in..i found it!!

It just seems like i have had nothing but bad luck these past couple weeks!!!... just one of those times where you feel like the entire world is against you for some reason!!
school is...school...absolute madness, my O chem lab is taking up SOOOO much of my time!!! I'm really not putting in any effort into my online class..which concerns me a bit..it is a 300 level..so its not easy...i haven't been reading a lot which i really should be...but somehow getting by! I'm LOVING my med micro class, as hard as it is...its not hard..just...a lot of information.
but anyway... i will just keep on going!! because..well..that's all i can do!! Only 2 exams, a lab practical, 2 papers, 2 lab reports to go for the next week and a half..then i think I'm actually free..well until finals of course..but it will be the FINAL of FINALS!!! for undergrad, that is :) then GRADUATION!!! cant believe it! only 30 something days left!!!
but i cant get ahead of myself just yet..... I'll just take it one day at a time!!
and in the midst of ALL of this craziness...I've truly realized how much i LOVE my friends and family and how much they mean to me. Having no social life this year has really shown me that...haha!
Hope everyone is well!

The end of an era....well almost.

Well, I'm officially in my LAST semester as an Undergraduate! This semester COULD NOT go fast enough!!
First week was nice,yet a tad overwhelming. My second week however, consisted of two days!! It was wonderful!! MLK Day was on Monday..so no school, then went to lab on Tues, and School was on a delayed schedule on Wednesday due to snow. Then Thursday and Friday were declared snow days because we had massive storm systems all at once( about 3ft of snow over a day and a half or so..)So although I was snowed in for 4 days...it was a nice little vacation at home..watched some movies, got lots of reading done for classes and tried to use that time to get ahead!
This past week, was the first FULL week, included all labs and everything..so again, feeling a little overwhelmed..but hopefully if I just try and stay ahead and keep myself on a schedule, I should be okay...although it gets harder every week. Nothing new!
my close friend decided to come up for her bday weekend, which was tons of fun and lots of laughs as usual!! Sure do miss her being around!!
Hopefully in a couple weeks, I'm going down there for a Seminar..so we were discussing maybe meeting up!
OH!! and...in case I still have not mentioned this, I've decided to wait a little longer to take the MCATs. With school, volunteering, Club med and just having enough time to shower and eat.. is insane. I realized that I'm not a superhero, and can't do everything at once sometimes. (may have spread myself out too thin, once or twice before) So the plan now is to study and take it AFTER graduation, so that its my ONLY focus, which hopefully means I can excel as much as possible! This of course throws off my plan by another year. So if I apply in the summer of '11, I would start med school in Fall '12. So during that time, I'll most likely be back home(unless I'm tempted/have enough money to be somewhere else), volunteering and hopefully working at a hospital..somewhere...anywhere.
I did contemplate getting my masters in those two years..but then realized I would need to take the GRE's like now! and apply...like NOW...so not as much time as I would have liked. Another option I have is to get my Undergrad. Degree in nursing..? it would only take me a year and a half at the most! So many options, ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!! a bit scary..but i kinda love it. The girl with the plan, doesn't have one for a little while... its a new feeling..
Not quite sure what will happen. Whatever is meant to be..will happen, I always say. as for now,I'm taking life one day at a time :-)

Oh well hey 2010!!

Boy, time sure does fly by when you are getting older... its just a fact! Im officially 22, and love it!
so since the start of 2010, I had to contemplate 2009.
All in all, 2009 was one of the better years for me. As every year has ups, and downs, there were lots of fun, wonderful memories made in this year that i know i will never forget!
Lots of firsts for me, and lots of lasts :')
I'm really really anxious and eager to find out what 2010 has in store for me, because if its anything like last year it should be a wonderful year. So here is hoping!!!
It sure started out fun though, went to a New Years Eve "get together" with some long-time friends and had a blast!!
Then the following..(well later that day) my roomie and her best friend( my friend as well) decided to come up from AZ for my b-day!! I'm sooo happy that she did. it was the best present, and i love the fact that she was willing to drive like 8 hours for just the weekend! She is awesome!
Then i got together with A LOT of high school buddies, some i had not seen in a very long time! Had dinner at PF Changs( so yummy!) I got very lovely presents (eventhough, i really didn't need anything, just their presence would have made me happy!!)
They all proceeded in a "share your favorite memory of maryann" conversation, which brought up some great memories...and i sure laughed A LOT and enjoyed them very much!!!
I got a diary book, which i am starting to write in!! so i probably wont be posting too much on this page a lot longer.
i got a great picture album that my cousin made! so awesome!!! ive always wanted one, and it was full of pictures! put my college life in a little nutshell... i loved it!! and an abstract painting as well!!
Got a gift card to Sephora!!! Im a total girl and LOVE to shop for all kinds of girly stuff! hehe!
My roomie also made me a picture collage of all my friends. LOVED it! i got a little teary eyed when she gave it to me, it was a nice summation of the past 2 years and all the pictures were my friends that she knows i missed/going to miss because they wouldn't be with me this last semester :')

I really do enjoy the simpler things in life, like pictures. I dont have a camera, so i dont have very many of my own. But having these particular pictures meant the world to me :) I have such great family and friends, and even though we may part ways temporarly, i know that we wont be letting go of our friendships anytime soon! :)